The hardest goodbye

So the past weekend consisted of my attendance to my grandpas viewing & funeral
It was really interesting just learning about my traditions and all the ceremonial things that had to be done. Surprisingly the atmosphere was light and not too upsetting. Considering from my previous experience with funerals i always expect what it to be like in the moives, everyones just crying and no one can smile etc. But it was different at the viewing, it was happy we all talked about the things he used to do and my mom told me the things from her childhood with him. I remember all of my aunts and my mom , thats like 5 people, bent over on the floor peering at my grandpas "house" which we would be burning to him. It was really funny and cute, they were like "oh look he has a vacuum, microwaves and everything" haha It really touched me and it wasnt at all scary to see him, which i thought i would be scared of.

The next day we woke up at 7:40AM and we got there around 9AM and i think all of us prayed for an hour. It was really emotional, my mom started sobbing like crazy and loudly, it really triggered a lot of us to start crying too. I think it just started to become more real? or set in to all of us that he's really gone. We finished praying we got to see him for the final time before they closed the casket. We then headed to the burial site which was 20min away so it was interesting to be escorted by the police to the next area.

When we finished everything, and finished eating we went to my grandparents house for a little bit. It was hard being there for me and looking at their room. They started to move out his bed and furniture stuff it was just hard to watch. Its like you know that where he used to sleep and now its gone b/c hes gone too. All my intimate relatives came over to eat dinner, it was fun. We played with our 4 youngest cousins ranging from a month to 3 y/o. They were cutee. I dont know why but i kept thinking about all the things that happened the last few days and how different things might've been if he was still okay , if he had been with us there to watch us even if he had to do that in a wheelchair. Its hard not to think about or not to let it bother me. But its all part of life and whatnot and knowing that hes no longer in pain is a good thing. None the less we will miss him and life moves on.