A step towards a New Beginning

I was planning to blog sooner then today but blog spot was frustrating me to no end for making the task of adding pictures to the blog very difficult.

Anyways , tomorrow is my orientation and I'M SO EXCITED! SOOOOOOOO Excited more then i can express onto one blog unfortunately. Tomorrow I will get my new ID card WHOO! Other then that meet all my professors and my fellow classmates. The school I'm attending is a a private school , but I'm enrolled in their Psych & Social Action 2 year program. I really like it etc and plus I think I've mentioned this before so I dont want to repeat myself haha

So considering this was my last week of break before school started, I havent really done much sadly. I've been reading, The Help, though basically the one movie released recently that had that girl from " Easy A" i forgot her name xD I havent seen the movie but I really enjoy the book so far.

Other then that I've also been shopping and i have so much new clothes for this winter, whoo !



Old Navy Top- which i think is really cute even though it will be fall soon


F21 Fleece Military Jacket- which i love so comfortable





Nine West Blumesco White Heels- i loveee them, they remind me of SNSD genie days for some reason, can't wait to wear them out next Sat for my friends bday and Vegas!

frustration

I dont know why but today was not a good day, not a good day at all. I feel bad that the accident occured even though it wasnt my fault. I lost my keys and I feel bad that I've caused trouble for people but what can I do? It's already been done, I can't do anything but to move on.

It sucks knowing that the one person that you think you could count on isn't. I love my boyfriend but sometimes I wish he was more supportive. I made it pretty clear to him by repeating to him that I am really frustrated and stressed out today because of what happened. I didn't need him to keep coming down on me by saying that it couldve been avoided if i drove less people or if i looked in the mirrors etc. I mean maybe it couldve but he wasnt there - he doesnt know, and what use is it to lecture me when it's already been done. I feel like my car couldve been parked and hit and he would still find a way to imply that i couldve done something else to prevent it.

His words hurt and it emotionally drains me because then I have to ask why he has to say it to me now or today- it hurts so bad. I havent cried in a while and it just came out. I'd rather get it off my chest then let it build up over and over and have it explode all at once.

He never admits he's wrong and we end up nowhere when I'm trying to talk it out so it's done and over with. Maybe what happened the past in our relationship still haunts me. It was when he angered N and he apologized and went out of his way to make it up to her. I think that hurt me a lot b/c after 2 years I still can't forget it . I thought " wow she's not even his gf and he does so much for her when she got mad at him - when I get mad at him he doesn't even do that sort of thing for me".

I don't know what to do, but if stuff continues the way it is now I don't know how much longer I can put up with it.


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i am so sad.

today some guy tried to merge into my lane but instead merged into my car hence getting a flat tire and scratches and a dent in my car.


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I opened my home door with my keys and now they are no where to be found and I spent at least 2 hours looking for them everywhere already.


Thoughts are filling my head and freaking me out such as:

a) i left my keys on the lock and someone took them hence someone will steal my car and rob my house as well

b) my keys are gone forever nowhere to be found


such a sad day :(

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Capture the moment

Recently WFP ( Wong Fu Productions) released a short called " Shell" and basically taking the concept of how a certain shell " captures" the sound of ocean waves but with the ability to capture memories that have happened or what you would want to happen i suppose. I remember in high school my friends and I would always bring our cameras and always want to take pictures of all the things we did together. It's sad how we don't do it as often anymore, maybe it was more important in high school because we hung out once in a while outside of school which made it more fun? I'm not too sure but I'm constantly wishing and hoping that I take initiative and take more pictures with my friends whenever we go out. I no longer use my camera since my mom usually uses it and plus I have an iphone which has a great camera and is able to take pictures. Even with this I still find myself not being able to whip out my phone and say "let's take a picture!" I think this is one of the things I want to change in my life- I want to capture the moments which I will look back on and remember what we did. I want those memories captured in a picture beacuse I remember the moment so much better.


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My life so far,

It's been a few months since I've blogged, but recently I felt more inspired to blog and write down my memories more often. There are so many things I want to share and to just be free to write whatever I have to say, but instead I will do them one by one but for now I just want to talk about the aspects of my life so far.

So in no particular order lets talk about my...

Boyfriend- So it's been three years already since I've been with my boyfriend. We didn't really do much , I visited him since he was still in school and we ate at a sushi buffet which was deelish! After school finished for him he quit his job so he was able to spend the whole summer with me. I don't think we did much but eat and just spend time with one another. We went camping and I guess just worked on our relationship? I don't know this aspect is hard to explain... anyways he will be heading back to his school again- two hours away ~ I think it's kind of weird because I was so used to him being there most of the time and being easy to access him. It's weird to think about that I have to get used to the routine that we usually have for the whole year. I will only be able to see him once every 2-3 weeks. I mean I know it's honestly not that bad considering other people's situations who are only able to see their bfs/gfs every few months, but I mean it's still hard regardless


School- I'm sooooo excited for school ! I start on the 26th and I can't help but be just a little nerdy considering I've finally transferred and will finally be pursuing my B.S. in psych & social action. I'm excited for the program I'm in where I won't struggle getting classes and the teacher to student ratio will be smaller , hooray for private schools! And I was soo excited to finally get an " .edu" email to get amazon prime haha


Work & Finances- In october it will be a year since I've worked at the place I've worked. I'm honestly getting so tired of retail, the pay is so small and the work I do is so easy but it's just the people I suppose. It's also really frustrating to me that some of my coworkers don't take their jobs seriously such as just not caring how they get work done as long as it's done. I would like to believe that I have a better work ethic so it just makes me sad that I try my best and no one really cares or notices. It makes me feel like asking myself why bother trying so hard? I'm on the search again to find a better job preferably something secretarial and I've applied to two places yesterday but I will see what will happen.

Upcoming Events- My friends will all be twentyone this year and we have this huge vegas trip coming up in december and I'm SO excited for it as well. I can't wait to go clubbing, see the shows, and just have a whole lot of fun. ^^

I think that's all for now - considering my brain is starting to drift off elsewhere until next time.

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