Heartbreaker

I would say the last couples of week for me have been difficult,
on one hand i was still dealing with the death of my grandpa
& school and all the work etc etc
&& boyfriend who has been so mia lately

Anyways i dont know im just confused and really stressed out atm, but i HOPE that things will become easier even though i have a feeling it wont, i guess it's one of those things, woman's intuition perhaps. I dont know i just cant shake off this feeling something is going on and i hate how it feels & i cant find the word to express them.

Its like.. i dont even know what to do, and i feel like i cant talk to anyone about it b/c i tend to overthink things and this might be one of them. I dont know if what im feeling is... legit? i guess My thoughts and feelings are all over the place, im not the type of person to jump on things, i take my time analyzing and thinking what i should do next. Ironic somewhat since I go on things i feel yet my steps after that are determined by my brain.

Well anyways, today is Mother's Day !! My mom went to the temple to pray so i cant even give her present until later when she gets home. I loveee my mom though, I remember when i was a kid, i missed my mom all the time bc i never got to see her except for weekends. She would work everyday from 2PM-12AM so when she was home i was at school so i rarely saw her. I would wait up for my mom on friday night to see her. One day i remember i was home early from school so i was able to see her and when she had to drop us off at my grandparents so she could go to work. I started crying like really heavy breathing sobbing crying and i told her i missed her and i didnt want her to go to work. She surprised me with a small music card box and she said that it was okay and told me not to be sad and that i was a big girl and i needed to be strong.

I would need her or my dad to sing with us before we could sleep, and when i got older i would ask her to tuck me into bed because i liked having the covers tucked in and i couldnt do it myself. I know she loves me and we do too. Happy mother's day mom !